|Cameron James Carr on 11/17/1993|
Every parent looking at their children could say yes to the question, “do you believe in miracles?”. I know without a doubt I’ve experienced them and I can distinctly remember the answer to a heartfelt prayer that was nothing short of one.
It happened 18 years and 5 months ago this very day. I sat at my dining room table frustrated, discouraged and very confused. I had just had my 7thmiscarriage in 5 years of trying to have a child. We were two years into our counties wait list, just for a home study and still had years and hundreds of names ahead of us. In the same two years we had followed leads that went nowhere for private adoptions. From my heart I made a simple plea to God, “If we are supposed to have a child biologically, then show the doctors what’s going wrong. If, we are to adopt how, where and when? And if I’m not supposed to have children then what do I do with my life because I am driving myself crazy”. I had an overwhelming sense of peace surround me, even though nothing in the natural had changed I seemed sure it would be alright.
A week later a phone call from my father would begin the journey for this miracle to take place. An airline pilot, he had received a call from a colleague he’d had a conversation with almost a year before. There had been a discussion regarding adoption and its challenges. This individual took his business card and said if she ever heard anything she’d contact him. She was hiring for a live in nanny position when one young woman came through and let it be known she was 4 ½ months pregnant. She had come to the decision that she wanted far more for the baby boy she was carrying than she could provide and wanted to place him for adoption. This colleague of my father’s remembered the conversation and said she knew people she could contact would that be okay?
I knew this phone call was an answer to my prayer, but how do you call a total stranger and introduce yourself as someone interested in their baby? I simply said “God if this is You and this is meant to be give me the words”. It took three calls before finally connecting with M. When I did all my anxiety drained away. A real connection was made and a sense that whether a child came into our lives or not we were supposed to be there for she and this baby.
After our 3rd call with M we found out she was living during the week in her car and on weekends at a friends. We made arrangements for her to stay at the Motel we had booked for ourselves later that week when we planned to travel to meet. Though nervous we all connected quickly. Again God had prepared hearts. At the time of introductions we asked if we looked anything like she expected. M pointed at me and said “I saw you in a dream a week ago.” With that she was convinced that we were here to answer her prayers. After much discussion of options M came to live with us for the next 5 months. And no my math isn’t off, this baby boy was 2 weeks late. During these months M became a part of our family. We grew to love her like a younger sister. Then on the morning of November 17th, 1993 the process of life entering the world began. At 4:54 in the evening Cameron James Carr made his entrance into the world. I was blessed to be able to cut the cord and after he was cleaned up at M’s insistence Cameron was placed in my arms.
After a few weeks and many offers for jobs and schools from various sources that had come to care for her M chose to return to her parents. She had reconciled with them a month earlier and wanted to make a clean start there. We continued to speak daily through long phone calls to encourage her to stay on the new path she’d set for herself. Over time we could see her grow stronger and more self assured seeking out and pursuing opportunities for a different life. In time a wonderful young man came into M’s life. Not only did we join them to celebrate their marriage, but I was in the wedding as a maid of honor.
We’ve all continued to stay in touch as Cameron grew and changes in our lives and family occurred. We’ve celebrated joyful news like the birth of their daughter and have cried with each other as we’ve each faced trials. At 13 I gave Cameron the letter to him I had M write shortly after he was born. It spoke of her desires for his life, along with the understanding of her reasons for her choices. It was a perfect gift for a young man who was finally connecting biology with all those “adoption issues” we talked openly about. In time he would talk to M over the phone and then 2 years ago their family made a trip to
Southern California. Over the course of 2 days we were able to meet at amusement parks to share their adventure and enjoy each others company. Cameron had time to talk at length with M and his words at the end of this time summed everything up. He had long since stopped calling me “mommy”, but over the course of these two days he had done so several times as he hugged me. When it came time for our goodbyes and as we were walking away, Cameron put his arm on my shoulder and said “mommy I feel so totally loved”. And so you are!!
Happy Birthday, to a child who has blessed our lives with his love, personality, quirky sense of humor and passion for life. We love you, Mom, Dad, Amber, Hannah and Lauren.
|Cameron & M - Disneyland|